If 2020, has taught us anything it is to make to best of life. So instead of focusing on what I cannot do this year, I am choosing to ring in the new year in a whole new way.

If you know me well, you know I am not a huge new year’s person. If I am not in San Francisco with my sister at a show, then I am likely at home on new years eve. My worst “me too moment” occurred on new years eve when I was just 15. That is not a story for today, but to reclaim this evening is a huge step, I did not even realize I was ready to take and worthy of mentioning.

For me 2020, broke down the remaining part of me that was not owning my truths and life experiences. I am proud to be healing from old wounds that I silently carried for way too long. Its not about what happens to you in life, it is about how you respond.

This year we all were put to the test. Clearly.

For those grieving losses of loved ones, I know grief can be consuming. A wise woman recently told me, “Once a person suffers great loss, you understand the difference between moving on and carrying on. Forever we carry them in our hearts. To thrive is to honor them.”

So, this New Year’s Eve, let us do our best to embrace the silver lining of a tremendously hard year.

As I started to think about how I wanted to spend the last hours of 2020, I envisioned a magical night that I just had to share with you. It might not be magical for you but maybe there are parts you will want to do too and if not, that is ok too.

I plan to start the evening by setting up an alter and smudging the house and property with sage.

Intention filled with peace, acceptance, and cleansing, will set the tone for a magical night.

While I smudge, my intention is to clear away all negative and unwanted energy around my home, yard, car, and all aspects of myself, my partner and our animals.

The following ideas are not necessarily in order of how I will do them. What seems like a natural flow for one may not for another, so customize the evening to your preferences and circumstances.

If you can, get outside. Take a walk or go out in your yard or on your porch. Getting outdoors in the evening can help you sleep better and relax the mind. I love to take my dogs for a walk during sunset.

If it is cold where you are, bundle up and make it a nice quick outing. If its wet, like it often is here in Hilo, grab that umbrella and rain boots. Rainy day walks are among my favorite days to get a walk in at the park.

After getting outside, it might be a good time smudge your space and self.

I will likely leave a small piece smoking in a safe spot on my alter while I meditate. Never leave candles or sage burning unattended.

On my alter I plan to put sage, gemstones, candles, pictures of loved ones, rocks, shells, and items of significance.

I like to light my candles with intention. I often light candles for loved ones I am missing whether in the physical world or not. So, I would light one for my Mother who is no longer with me. Then light another candle for my sister, who is just in a separate state.

My intention for each of them and their candle is different. The one for my mother is to connect, honor and include her in my ceremony. The one for my sister is to connect and bring positivity, good health, and happiness for us both in the new year.  

Now is when I will meditate. I love a good, guided meditation. So if you are new to meditation, don’t be scared off. There are many online.

After meditating, keep an eye on candles or blow them out.

Turn on your favorite music of choice. Be careful not to play songs that make you feel sad. We are aiming for happy and peaceful. If you have Netflix, start a fire on your television fireplace.  To make it easy search fireplace.

Then make your choice of warm tea, hot cocoa, cocktails or mocktails, and snacks.

Enjoy snacks and beverages while you do one or all the following:

-Make a list of all the things you are grateful for.

-Vision Board for 2021.

-Set 3 realistic intentions for yourself in 2021. I don’t do new years resolutions and I feel goals are too much pressure in a pandemic. You do what works for you.

-Listen to a podcast. My favorite podcast is: On Being.

-Create a morning and evening ritual for 2021.

-Watch the ball drop on TV or a movie. A comedy might be good. I have heard Soul on Disney+ is good.

-Plan your 2021 veggie and/or butterfly garden. You can do a window box her garden or some pots outside your front door if space is limited. Not only do our pollinators need our support, but butterflies are a sign of hope, positivity, and transformation. I think we all can use a bit of positivity. Check out my butterfly garden.

-Self-care: a warm bath, facemask, dry brush, bath salts, and warm tea.

-Star gazing: if the skies are clear, bundle-up and take a blanket you can lay on to look at the stars. I love the grounding feeling of laying on the ground outside. Take deep breathes of the fresh air. If its too cold or impractical where you are. I encourage you to go outside and look at the stars and moon if only for a moment. I like to look at the moon and connect with the energy of the moon and all the people around the world looking at the moon at that exact moment.

-Play games together. We love games. From darts to Sequence to Yahtzee, cards, and even Monopoly. It has been fun. Go dig out your favorite game to play.

An idea I heard listening to, The I AM Podcast, by Ashley LeMeiux was to get some paper and then sit down by yourself, with your partner or family, whatever you decide, and write down on individual pages all the things that are weighing you down, all the things you do not want to bring into the new year. Then light that paper safely on fire. Use your fireplace or fire pit. Be careful. Do not catch anything on fire while doing this.

One more idea is if you’re in a relationship set 3 intentions together as a couple. This idea also came from Ashley LeMeiux. She suggested having a hobby that you do together. My partner and I do have a hobby together which is gardening, but I want to add something new this year. Ashely recommended in her podcast couples boxing, hiking, yoga, and creating spiritual goals. I loved both ideas so much, that I had to add them in my post to share with all of you. I also linked her podcast above.

In 2020, I started to let go of all expectations. It is a constant work in progress, as is much in life, but in 2021, I am leaning into acceptance and letting go. I am leaning into my practices of mindfulness and gratitude.

Now is a good time to leave behind any unmet expectations and to do our best to stay present and to stay in the moment.

In 2020, I set new boundaries for myself & with others. In 2021, I will continue this practice of self-love.

As the night winds down, I will enjoy a warm mint tea before bed. I love spearmint and Moroccan mint tea.

Then use a foam roller or an exercise ball to lightly stretch before getting in bed. Meditate until you fall asleep. I usually focus on my breathing until I am asleep. I find it helps quiet my mind and relax my body.

If all of this sounds too much due to grief or whatever your circumstances are, I encourage you to shower yourself with self-love and compassion. Light a candle for the loved one(s) you are grieving, have some warm tea and simply relax. You might even find solace in spending part of your evening writing a letter to the loved one(s) you are grieving.

Do your best to stay off social media for at least part of the evening, if not the entire night. You can always snap pictures to share later. Just avoid that for the evening. This is a good time to set intentions for social media and screen time for the new year.

As we head into New Year’s Eve, I do not take lightly where things are at in this country, around the world, or the lasting impacts we have barely begun to comprehend. While I am concerned for what this next year holds, I feel strongly that it does no good to stress. It will not change anything by stressing out, worrying, or projecting what might be. I have always loved the quote, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength,” by Corrie Ten Boom. My Mother used to say, “Worry does not take away the sorrow of tomorrow but the joy of today.” It is only natural to fear the unknown, but it is no way to live.

If your biggest accomplishment this year, is staying home and making it to this moment, know that you did so much more than that. Your actions and ability to put the needs others ahead of some of your own, saved lives. Wearing that mask. Endless sanitizing. Missing that tradition. The conversations we did not have. The missed hugs and human touches.  It was all worth it.

As we head into the new year remember, we are in this together. Together we can end this pandemic, heal the divides in our nation, and be the change we want to see.

I hope this post guides you through a relaxing, blissful night that invigorates your body, mind, and spirit as we head into the new year.

Only in the darkest moments, can we be the light and lead the way.